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Saturday, July 31, 2010

Parental Cannibalism

Is that a thing? If it is I'm struggling with it. I might need therapy.

I want to eat my baby. I don't mean nibble on his scrumptious cheeks and call it a day. No. I want to slather him in butter, sprinkle him with powdered sugar, slap him on top of two flap jacks, drizzle him with syrup and call it the best breakfast I've ever had.
He smells too good and is too cute for me to resist.

But I do, EVERYDAY.
One day, when he's a teenager and doesn't like me very much because he has a 12am curfew I will remind him that he is lucky to be alive because I almost ate him. And maybe I'll throw in "I must have learned the self control from having a curfew when I was your age."
Or maybe I will go buy powdered sugar tonight and go to town on my baby tomorrow...you never know ;)
If you can't tell I need to get out of the house. You need not be alarmed, although I do want to eat my baby, I won't.

1 comment:

Rushell said...

This cracks me up! I bite my kids all the time. I too just want to eat them! Cheeks (both kinds if you know what I mean!), fingers, toes, bellies! I just what to gobble them up!