Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
I went to a parent lecture today. I forgot a pen and note pad so I blogged my notes using my phone. I was going to copy it later and delete this post but I think I will leave it up for all those who find this interesting as well. The speaker was Kent E. Parke, who is a family therapist for a little over 30 years. He was awesome.
1. Help your children develop faith and trust in a kind and loving Heavenly Father. - make church attendance a normal thing you do. Lead by example.
2. Demonstrate to your children that you are in love. Demonstrate a happy and wonderful marriage to your children. Knowing their father loves their mother is critical for a child's feeling of security and wellbeing. Learn to treat your spouse with love, kindness and compassion. The lord gave Adam a helpmeet (Eve) = which means equal helper.
3. Choose your battles wisely, avoid power struggles. Never argue or bicker. Set reasonable boundaries and consequences.
- do not raise your voice. "i'm sorry you feel that way" 6 simple words.
4. Never criticize. - 25/1 home research: for every 1 compliment made to the child their were 25 criticism to follow. Children get tons of critical feedback. 1/10: for one criticism give 10 compliments. children interpret criticism as rejection.
5. Compliment often. - maximize the positive - minmize the negative. Give hugs & kisses liberally - use "hit & run" (when older, by themselves give them a hug and kiss and get out of dodge before they complain)
6. Encourage communication - be a good listener. Avoid being critical and judgemental. Be enthusiastic and supportive. Girls communicate more than boys. When they do, be there for them. Be sensitive and understanding to their feelings, even if they tell you things you don't want to hear.
7. Encourage decision making. - age 18 is coming -always give choices and let them use their free agency even if they make the wrong choice.
8. Give unconditional love, kindness, and acceptance. All children have unlimited intrinsic worth and are gifts from God! We can never error on the side of kindness!
9. Make everything fun! "why say 'no' when you can say 'yes' - let's have fun! Be a fun dad, go do stuff with your kids.
10. Be willing to apologize. - none of us are perfect. Please and thank you also help.
Avoid being authoritative, controlling, rigid, manipulative, perfectionistic, critical, judgemental, defensive, grumpy, and rude. Learn to be at peace with yourself, your spouse, and your children.
Enjoy the journey! Kids are amazing and grow up fast!
The loving relationship you develop with your son or daughter always transcends performance! When in doubt - always focus on relationships! Help your children have a safe, happy and peaceful childhood!
Do the best you can and move forward!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Life is happening so fast. One minute I'm changing Bruce's morning diaper and the next minute I'm putting him to bed. Here are a few photo's of our recent events along with me writing notes to myself.
We went to the beach as a family. You loved it. It was Rhyan's first time there.
Baby legs are the best (the leggings she's wearing. But yes her legs are the fattest and cutest.) You need to buy more, they are starting to get tight.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
A couple weeks ago Kiel and I were wrestling downstairs while Bruce was upstairs, doing who knows what (I could take a gander and guess he was cleaning the toilet with dads toothbrush since that's where I found it...shhhh Kiel doesn't know. Don't worry I threw it away. Geez, I'm just trying to have a little fun!)Ahem, anyway, we were wrestling aka Kiel was being a giant bully and dominating me with all of his strength. Where's Celia when you need her? While I was trying to get a breath of fresh air and amidst being suffocated with a pillow I took a gasp of the most foulest odor I have ever smelled in my life. Kiel must have taken a whiff himself because he gave me the most horrendous look.
"That's not me!" I yelled.
"Well it's not me."
We both look up, and there's Bruce, ten feet away, with a giant grin on his face. We then both jump up on our feet and run across the room in opposite directions and away from Bruce. Kiel yells, "whose ever closest to him has to change him!" That was completely unfair, my sprint landed me near the back door and Bruce LOVES going outside. Bruce and the stench was coming my way. My only saving grace was to change the rules.
"No, we both need to be against the same wall and whoever he comes to has to change him." We both run into the dining room and stand next to each other. Poor Bruce probably feels like the kid who touched the cheese in the movie Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Kiel yells, "Bruce, who do you want to change your diaper?" Bruce comes from the living room peeks around the corner and sees us standing there. He pretends to go back to the living room but then he quickly turns around and runs full force at both of us, at the last second he tags Kiel's leg!
He's a daddy's boy! And this time it really paid off!