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Monday, December 7, 2009

My Inner Battle


Ever since I found out I was pregnant I've been battling with myself on what to do once the baby is born:

Do I go back to work? Or do I stay home?

I'm sure there are strong opinions that sway from one side to the other depending on whose reading this.

And I know that I am not just a Woman and I will not just be a Mother, but I am a Latter Day Saint Woman and will be a Latter Day Saint Mother and yes there is a difference. I am encouraged to stay home, I am promised multiple blessings to my family and children if I do so. But for some reason I am still trying to do both. Kiel and I worked out a schedule, he would be home with the baby 4 days out of the week and 3 days that next week and I would home with the baby 3 days out of the week and 4 days the next week. We share the duties 50/50. But it hasn't felt right.

My loving husband told me he doesn't need my help to provide, he can do that and will do that for his family. And it's not that I feel like I need to provide, but I do love my job. I like being part in an industry where woman thrive in the work place. I also have had a glimpse of how hard it is to be a stay at home mom and selfishly I would like to have a 4-day break. And I am afraid what will happen if I quit until my babies are ready for mom to go back to work.

So again, I battled.

And then I read this talk Mothers who know by Julie Beck

...and I finally swallowed what I had known all along. My purpose is not to become CMO in the beauty industry. I am to thrive in another job.

I am to be a Mother.

But not just a Mother, a Mother who knows how important it is to sacrifice.

Because as said by Julie Beck...

Mothers Who Know Do Less
Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord's kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.

So soon I will be a Mother that stays home full time and cleans her husbands castle and a milk machine, burping rag and a zombie from lack of sleep...can't wait ;)

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Mommy... :) You'll be great!

Brittany said...

Yay! For the wonderful moms and soon to be mommy's in the world! I want to some time go back to work, but I decided; I think i'd miss being away from my baby once she's here!

Lisa Renee said...

Thats great Mel, I would stay home if we could afford to live off of Daniel's income. There is always hobbies to keep your sanity ;)

lisa c. said...

I agree, that once that day comes for me, it's going to be a battle. I didn't think I'd find as much fulfillment in my job as I do. So I am grateful for women like you who are examples of choosing what you believe to be right even when it's hard.