Letters

Dear Nausea,

Must you consume every part of my day? Seriously, nausea I need a break. Can you go hang out with someone else now?

Thanks. P.s. I hate you.

Melissa

Dear Toilet Bowl,

Thanks for always being there and putting up with my crap.

(I practice these jokes ahead of time.)

You're a true soldier.

See you tonight, when I need to hurl.

Melissa

Dear Baby,

I know vegetables and tofu are really good for you, but would it hurt to crave mashed potatoes or a sugary snack every once in awhile? Also baby, when you see a commercial that shows steak you don't have to make my stomach turn. We can't eat things from the t.v. I know. You still have a lot to learn. And seriously baby, a jar of peppercinis every night? That's weird baby. Fine. You win.

Love your Mommy

Dear Husband,

Can you come home now? I know your friends are really cool and all but I miss you. Selfishly I want you to have a horrible time so you will never go away again. So, are you having fun?

Love your wife